The Journey
by Mary Oliver in Dream Work (1994)
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~~~~~
Some of my favorite clients are therapists who call needing just a little help figuring out their “next steps” in growing their private practices.
A client sent this poem to me as a “thank you” for helping her figure out her “next steps” in private practice.
It touched me and I today I want to pass it on to you today to support you on your journey, too.
If you are having trouble figuring out your next steps in private practice, I can help.
Give yourself permission to connect with someone who has been right where you are and has successfully moved beyond the hump.
There’s more room to breathe over here and more lives to touch.
Call me and let’s see how I can help – 303-660-4989
And, I’m wondering . . . what words keep you focused on what you need to focus on and inspire you to change the world.
Care to share?
Love. That!
Tamara, I adore the poems of Mary Oliver. Since you asked, in addition to her being one of my faves, I also, adore the poetry of David Whyte.
Below are a few opening lines as a teaser from his poem Working Together
We shape our self
to fit this world
and by the world
are shaped again.
The visible
and the invisible
working together
in common cause,
to produce
the miraculous.
Thank you for the opportunity to share. And so, we are all working together to produce the miraculous. I sometime think to myself it a a miracle to have the honor to walk a few step with someone on thier journey.
Hi, Brenda! Thanks for dropping in today! I love David Whyte, too, but hadn’t seen this poem! Will definitely be looking for the entire piece! It really IS an honor to join someone on their journey. A “miracle!” I hadn’t really thought of it in those terms, though. I really like that!
I cant seem to find the DARP notes information, only the discussion about them. It may be because I have Safari. Can you help me? Thanks.
Hey, Roger, I’m not sure what’s going on here. Is this what you are looking for?
If not, go to that link and tell me more about what you are looking for.
I do not receive responses to my inquiries. Can you help me? Thanks.
Tamara: I know that you have definitely helped me to dream bigger, stretch further, and have the tools to do it through coaching. In the few months since we have been working together, I have started a new group, and taken on numerous new clients. You have helped me to make this dream a reality, and one that feels good! Thanks so much for the inspiration and guidance!
Amy
Amy, thank you! That is so kind of you to take the time to let me know how our work is affecting you! I am so proud of you and the strides you are taking to stay focused and move forward in growing your business. (And, I know I’ve said it before but . . . I so wish your art therapy supervision group was in my own back door! I would sign up for that in a heart beat!)
Hi Tamara, your blog post was a breath of fresh air for me today. A phrase that has inspired me lately is one from the infamous and wise Brene Brown: “daring greatly: the courage to be vulnerable, to show up and be seen, to ask for what you need, to talk about how you’re feeling, to have the hard conversations.” I hope to inspire these things in my clients, and this quote has really helped me show up for myself as I continue building my practice. My practice is almost four years old and I celebrate this — and also am continuing to ponder where it goes next, many times amidst fear, uncertainty, vulnerability, and risk taking. I love the Mary Oliver poem and those that others have shared and will continue to ponder this idea. Thank you for always stirring up and invigorating my passion!
Kate! YOU inspire ME! Congrats on your four-year adventure in practice-building!
I was just having this same conversation with another therapist this morning – how important it is to actually embrace the fear and have the difficult conversations anyway. If we as mental health professionals can’t find our courage to show up and be real . . . to have those honest-but-difficult conversations (both personally and professionally), how can we ever expect our clients to do so?!
I don’t know where you are headed next in your practice but what I do know is that the work you do is important. Your fear, uncertainty, vulnerability, and risk taking are always about your own history. They are NOT about your future. I look forward to seeing you build new and great things to change the world – with or without your history in tow!
Thanks for dropping in today, Kate!
What a beautiful poem. I shared it with a client who is at a cross-roads and it also resonated with me, as I take those first steps in starting my own practice. I was certain to give well-deserved credits to the author. What a story she/he must have . . . as we all do. Thanks for sharing, Tamara.
Hi, Natasha! So glad to have your voice here as you begin your own private practice! Where are you and what is it you do?
I’m in rural PA, in between State College and Harrisburg. I have a teaching background and then shifted gears 10 years ago and began working in mental health. Got the Master’s, clinical supervision, and LPC in December. I’m currently pursuing play therapy coursework and clinical supervision with a colleague of Rise vanFleet, Cindy Sisnack. The closest RPT is 60 miles away and I am grateful to have an opportunity to fill this niche. I’ve been working mobile therapy for the past 3 years and am slowly transitioning to private practice as I await the credentialing process. Private pay is unheard of around here. I have an excellent reputation with former colleagues at the psych hospital where I got my start, with local schools, case managers, PCPs, and Medical Assistance care managers – they have asked for me specifically to staff certain cases involving trauma and I’m still accumulating CEUs in that specialty. Sadly, Pennsylvania ranks second in the nation for incidents of child sexual abuse. I’m told I’m going to fill a great need here in the boondocks and although I’ve run a business before, it was in the manufacturing sector and not the service sector, so I’m prepared for pitfalls. I’m a risk-taker and confident in my clinical skills and marketing abilities and yet I know the first year is going to be up and down. I’m very concerned about the natural drop-off in referrals when summer rolls around – not the perfect time to be “officially” up and running – but, 50% of the families I’m serving now want to discontinue Wraparound and come with me and I’ve been very ethical in not “stealing clients”. Parents have a choice. So, that’s it in a nutshell! Thanks so much for your interest and I so appreciate your site, your wisdom, and your cheer-leading!
Sweet! You’re voice and your experience are welcome here! And, it’s great to have a contact in Pennsylvania to refer kids to!
By the way, I don’t believe that clients can be “stolen.” If the therapist is offering the right service, the clients will come and they will stick around. If not, I encourage clients to “shop around” until they find the right “fit.” Clients do have a choice and the informed consent process requires that clients understand the choice is always theirs to stay or go.
I look forward to learning from you, Natasha, supporting you on your journey, and networking with you, too! By the way, are you aware of any email discussion lists specifically for mental health professionals in Pennsylvania? Any regularly occurring face-to-face opportunities for mental health professionals to networking in Pennsylvania?
Thanks for your encouragement, Tamara. I didn’t mean to be so over-confident – I just have a mantra about life in general that “failure is not an option”. This was on my mind today when I spent several hours getting my new office in order. I love my alone time and this phrase kept popping into my head as I looked around me and wondered about the worst-case scenario: having to tear it all down if I failed. It was then I realized that failure was not an option. That I was meant to be where I am – with no judgements about how I got here or how I’ve “paid my dues”. This is ego-stuff that weakens our ballast. I’ve arrived here because I traveled from point A to point B. Simple as that. Marsha Linehan often reminded her clients that “we’re in this same boat together.”
To answer your last query, no, unfortunately, I am not aware of any email discussion lists alive and well in PA. I’m sure there are networking opportunities in Philly and Pittsburgh, but the space in between where I do business is lackluster to say the least. It’s a strange demographic here.
Thank you also for reminding me that clients can’t be “stolen”. I just pride myself on being very ethical and it’s so easy to sway a pre-existing client to transfer (in another capacity) to my private services but I’ve been so very careful in helping them make unbiased choices. The thought that someone would transfer to me because they felt somehow indebted makes me sick in the stomach and I would really need to explore this with them. I’ll tell ya . . . two years of clinical supervision after the Master’s was invaluable because I don’t think I would have caught this without supervision. I am very aware of boundaries and my clinical role although it’s often messy.
Thanks again Tamara. I’ll let you know of any networking opportunities in PA.
I’m right there with you, Natasha, on clinical supervision. “This is ego-stuff that weakens our ballast.” YES! I’m so borrowing that line (with attribution, of course)! That’s so true! And, I’m embarrassed to say that if it hadn’t been required, I would probably naively bypassed clinical supervision telling myself that it “cost too much money” or “couldn’t possibly be worth it” . . . and that would have been a very stupid choice on my part. I learned as much (if not more) in clinical supervision as I ever did in graduate school and it continues to serve me every single day. God bless great supervisors!
And, I know exactly what you mean about knowing where you are meant to be. It’s a gift to have that clarity. And, not having that clarity really does set a therapist up to struggle in private practice. I see so many limping along because they didn’t know to take the time to figure that piece out. By the way . . . the only ones that I see truly “fail” are the ones that don’t learn from the choices they’ve made (or passively chosen not to make) and the consequences from those choices. Worst case scenario in my book is having to tear it all down . . . because I didn’t learn my lessons!
Hey, it’s great to talk with you, Natasha! Have a great weekend!
Sweet! You’re voice and your experience are welcome here! And, it’s great to have a contact in Pennsylvania to refer kids to!
By the way, I don’t believe that clients can be “stolen.” If the therapist is offering the right service, the clients will come and they will stick around. If not, I encourage clients to “shop around” until they find the right “fit.” Clients do have a choice and the informed consent process requires that clients understand the choice is always theirs to stay or go.
I look forward to learning from you, Natasha, supporting you on your journey, and networking with you, too! By the way, are you aware of any email discussion lists specifically for mental health professionals in Pennsylvania? Any regularly occurring face-to-face opportunities for mental health professionals to networking in Pennsylvania?
Love this! Thanks for sharing
Hi, Carla! You’re so welcome!