This is part of an episodic series, The Therapist’s Networking Guide.
To see the previous post in this series, click here.
Do you dread attending social events because you don’t have anything to say?
Do the palms of your hands start sweating and your mind go blank every time you meet someone new?
If so, don’t worry! I’ve got some great tips to share with you from one of my favorite chit-chat gurus and author of The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep it Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression, Debra Fine. I got to hear Debra speak to the Denver Coach Federation several years ago and picked up some really practical things to do to make conversation flow more easily at networking events. Here’s a few for your consideration:
- Start with a positive statement or an open-ended question like “I’m really looking forward to hearing the speaker tonight. Her book looks really interesting!” or “Is this your first time at the Chamber of Commerce meeting? How did you hear about us?”
- When you are asked a question, be generous with your response. By that, I mean give a little more information than you were asked for. If your colleague asks what you did this past weekend, tell her i.e. ” My partner and I went to Santa Fe for the weekend. I found a terrific artist there who creates hand painted scarves and bags.”
By offering extra information about yourself, you have provided multiple opportunities for your colleague to respond . . . about the location . . . , vacation . . . , artisan boutiques . . . , or an artist that she knows. You’ve made it easy for her to find something relevant to talk about.
- Dig deeper. When you’ve asked an open-ended question and the response you get is less than generous, ask for more. Ask follow up questions to draw her out.
This is what I know for sure . . . . As a mental health professional, you cut your teeth on asking open ended questions and digging deeper. If these tips don’t come easy for you then choose just one and commit to practicing it for a week or two. When you master it, move on to the next tip. Within a month, you’ll be able to comfortably talk to anyone and put them at ease, too!
Whatever you do, don’t let the networking environment tie you up in knots.
I have recently become interested in MeetUp Groups for networking. I know they have been around a while, however, I have not been interested until recently as a form of meeting people. I am encouraging the job seekers attending a support group called New Destinations at People House to become networkers for securing employment. In researching MeetUp Groups I discovered groups for every interest under the sun. Can you comment on the effectivness of these groups?
Sure, Brenda! Thanks for the suggestion! Check back at http://www.allthingsprivatepractice.com on Tuesday, October 6th and I’ll share some thoughts about Meetups and other social groups.
Tamara,
What to say when attending a meet up group for job seekers? Often I hear things like, it so fake feeling or I don’t know what to talk about.
Small talk and geting down to the facts of wantig to get a suitable job can be challenging for the shy and introverted. Any idea how to move past the “wall flower” stage?
If you find yourself feeling fake at a networking event, then take the time to reflect on what parts of you you are not bringing to the table. It may be your message if you are so focused on saying the “right” things that you aren’t really talking about what’s important to you. Or, it may be your appearance if you are wearing clothes that aren’t truly representative of who you are. Or, it may be that you are in the wrong networking group . . . again trying to be someone you are not.
Feeling fake typically means that you aren’t bringing the real you to the table.