It seems that everywhere I go . . . to online 
discussion lists, in networking groups across town, at professional development workshops, and in working with my own supervisees . . . the topics of wellness, burnout, vicarious trauma, and compassion fatigue are being talked about by mental health professionals. Just as I was sitting down to share my thoughts on the subject, I ran across this excellent article, Taking Care of Yourself as a Counselor by Lynne Shallcross on the website of the American Counseling Association.
Do yourself (and your clients) a favor and take a peek at Lynne’s article. Then drop back in here to share your thoughts!
We are sharing brain waves – I just taught on this last night to volunteer trainees! Great article recommendation!
Awwww, cool! Thanks Stephanie, for taking time to drop in today!
Great article! When I was working at a school I seemed to be better able to take a day off. When I wasn’t scheduled to work – I was off! Now that I am in private practice I feel the need to promote, market, connect and take CEU’s on my off time. That is to say, I feel like I am never off! At first it was exhilarating and I loved it. Learning and being creative are a welcome change to a rather dogmatic and limiting type of work. However, I now have learned that I need to actually “turn myself off” and tune in to my inner self and listen to her. She knows what is best. I need to actually schedule off days, schedule marketing activities to free up time to just be me. Not “counselor” me, just the actual “me”!
Welcome back, Vivian! I can so relate to the temptation to work 24/7! It’s so easy to do when we are passionate about our work. In the first years of private practice I was single and lived alone. There was no one to set my schedule but me so after seeing my clients and doing my networking, I would typically go home and work on paperwork, create handouts, and do my billing until the wee hours of the morning. On the weekends, I was thinking about, working on, and reading about all things related to my practice. That was a recipe for disaster.
Eventually, like you, I learned to put “down time” on my calendar. For the last 20 years, I’ve continued to write in my time for self care and I would recommend you do that, too. I literally use a yellow highlighter to mark off my time so that I don’t end up using it for work time. (Remember? I’ve told you before that I am a digital dinosaur:) I still have an old-fashioned paper calendar rather than those digital gizmos – oh, yeah, I mean smart phones – to keep my schedule.)
When you work for an agency or an institution, your work hours may be limited to a certain number of hours / week. Just as we learned in graduate school to pace our clinical work, so too we need to pace ourselves in running our practices. Part of being self-employed is learning to do the same for yourself – both your physical and emotional health as well as the health of your business. It’s about work-life balance. And, it’s critical to the long term survival of each of us in private practice.
There are some great points here about scheduling time for myself. I always spend time on something that is stress-free on the weekend, whether it’s TV or sports or something else. What annoys me, though, is that there are other people in my life who don’t understand that I do incorporate that, as well as several blocks of five minutes for myself throughout the day, and my schedule is constantly being analyzed by others! for right now, I have found a balance that works for me… Now if I could just get other people to understand that the time to recharge on weekends and small amounts of time during the weekdays is a system that works for me!
It took me a few years to understand my own need for that work-life balance so I’m not surprised. Between being over-extended in graduate school while working full time and placing a high value (in the United States) on work ethic, “cutting my professional teeth” in the field of mental health at under-funded and under-staffed community agencies and later on in a profit-driven hospital, too, I learned some really valuable things about my role in mental health . . . and I also learned that the expectation of many is for mental health professionals to be self-sacrificing, martyrs who proudly settle for the crumbs. I’m sure many of you, too, received that mixed bag of lessons, too!
I’m glad that you, Lauren, know better and I hope your colleagues, family, and friends figure it out soon . . . for their own sakes!
My practice is in Colorado. On a recently planned trip a Calif I was delayed for 2 nights and 2 days in Arizona. It was out of my control. I had 2 unscheduled days. Unscheduled! It was the best 2 days “off” I’ve had since starting a private practice: sitting at the pool, getting a facial and see Frank Llyod Wright’s home in the dessert. The delay was a gift and I returned to my practice truly refreshed.
Hi, Kristene! What a great example of making lemonade! Thank you for providing us a great example of taking care of yourself especially during unexpected and stressful circumstances.
By the way – I have toured Wright’s home there, too. It was a fascinating tour, wasn’t it?!
Hey, Kristene, I just noticed that you don’t have a little picture of you next to your comments. You’re missing an opportunity to help people remember who you are. If you want to have a little picture of you show up in your comments, you can find out how right here. It’s really simple – I promise!
Thanks for sharing Tamara. I never really thought about how as counselors it’s a one-way street relationship and it can spill over to our personal lives; That it’s okay to give, give, give, without reciprocity. This is so true. When I started making myself a priority and expecting reciprocity, I grew personally and professionally.
Hi, Liza! Welcome back! One of my favorite bloggers, therapist-blogger Martha Crawford, often writes at What a Shrink Thinks, about this facet of our work.
Like you, when I started making myself a priority and expecting reciprocity, not only did I grow personally and professionally, my clients benefitted, too!
I’ve certainly noticed changes in my own self-care over several years of working as a counselor. While I still do some research and reading at home, I also have learned that certain activities on the weekend really helped to “recharge my batteries,” so to speak. I’ve also learned that five minutes to myself in my office without doing paperwork can really be beneficial in the middle of the day.
I’ve been known to fall into the “if I don’t work, I don’t get paid” mentality at times… because it is true. At the same time, though, I know it’s important to have some time for me if I want to be able to be effective enough to deserve payment for services (and to provide ethical and competent services, of course).
I love the assessment tools mentioned here and I really do believe that both clinical supervision and peer supervision (the latter of which I consider to be less formal) are really important. It’s also nice to have personal relationships with a coworker or two so we can talk about weekends or something not related to work. A few minutes make a big difference!
Ahhh, Lauren! you speak such wise words!
What a timely article, thanks for sharing, Tamara! I agree 100% with Shallcross’s final point that self-care should be promoted and taught more in graduate programs. I can only remember two or three (out of 20!) classes in which we were specifically asked about and/or encouraged to share our self-care practices. I’m happy to have realized on my own before leaving school that self care not only feels good but is vital to this work we do. Now if only we could count self care hours toward graduation and licensure…haha!
Tara! I love that idea . . . ! How about counting self care hours toward post-licensure professional development / continuing education! It’s either important to the well-being of our profession and our clients or it’s not . . . . I don’t think I had self-care practices ever even referenced in graduate school. I have to think that that is different now but back then . . . self care was an afterthought at best.
I find it ironic that the very sensitivity that make me a good therapist (or at least an eager one) also makes me vulnerable to side-effects from the work itself. This gets particularly tricky when I get caught up in the American mania for busy-ness and productivity, which means I heap the stress of overwork onto the stress of work that’s already more demanding than any other job I’ve had.
My colleagues throughout my life have thought me the self-care poster boy, but it’s only because I can’t do without it. Even with it, my load is lighter than what many in my field can handle. It’s a constant process of reminding myself that my best is good enough. My clients are mostly happy with our work together; five more per week wouldn’t necessarily mean five more happy clients!
Hi,Henry! Welcome to Private Practice from the Inside Out! “Five more [clients] per week wouldn’t necessarily mean five more happy clients.” Nor would it mean that you would be any happier! I love that you mentioned your process of reminding yourself that best is good enough! Perfection is the biggest enemy of good enough and if we don’t realize that then I don’t really think that we can teach that to our clients, can we?
Hey, Harry – I just noticed that you don’t have a little picture of you next to your comments. You’re missing an opportunity to help people remember who you are. If you want to have a little picture of you show up in your comments, you can find out how right here. It’s really simple – I promise!
I had to come back and re-read this! I have been guilty of not taking care of myself, and not setting appropriate boundaries for my clients. I will take a client at any time, not matter if I had blocked that time off in my schedule. I feel bad sometime because I have a busy schedule naturally and I am not as available as a typical agency. So many of the articles points hit me hard! I am going to print this so I can continue to have a reminder to take care of me.
Hey, Carla, welcome back! I think setting boundaries with clients was the most difficult of everything that I had to learn about building and maintaining a private practice. I have a theory though about this particular struggle . . . . For many therapists not setting and holding to boundaries related to scheduling and times is often about fear masquerading as a boundary issue.
I don’t know if that is true for you but what I do know is that as long as we fool ourselves into thinking it is one thing (like a boundary issue related to a lack of self care) instead of telling ourselves the truth (like “OK, I’m really scared to death that . . . my client won’t like me” or “. . . won’t schedule an appointment to see me” or “. . . will think I’m being stingy”), we’ll not make the changes that we know we need to make.
Carla, I whatever the issue is for you, good for you for knowing that you need to take care of you and setting your intention to get a handle on your schedule!
Tamara, I totally agree! I think it was grounded in fear that I would lose clients and not be able to continue to build my business if I was not always available when they wanted to schedule. I have had people tell me I was too busy before and that may have been part of the issue for me. In addition, in reflection, I had a tendency to schedule during times when I should have been completing dissertation…(and I am sure we know WHY that was happening). Im really examining my WHY on this one… thanks Tamara!
🙂 Thanks, Carla, for continuing this converasation today. I can really relate because it has often been fear that has held me back. When I’m not paying attention, I often complicate the situation by calling it other things . . . to others . . . to myself. And, invariably, it slows me down and distracts me . . . keeping me focused and engaged in everything but what I need to be doing!
BTW – sometimes “why” questions can do the same thing i.e. distracting me from the core of whatever it is I should be focused on. “How” questions often help me move forward as in “How have I continued to not move forward on this project?” and “How have I been spending my time?” and “How is focusing on everything else but this project working for me?”