Hanging Out in a Pile of Poop
I saw someone in a Facebook group questioning the influence of early childhood on personality development so I decided I to address this on my Business Page in Facebook. This is what I posted . . . .
In my firs
t psychology class as an undergrad, the professor used an Adlerian technique to have us introduce ourselves to each other.
The instructions were to share your name and your earliest childhood memory.
My earliest childhood memory is around the age of 2 years old when my father took me to the Stockyards in Fort Worth, Texas in his Morris Minor pickup.
The Stockyards weren’t a tourist attraction back then – they were active stockyards where the trains brought in cattle and ushered them into the meatpacking plants.
Every Saturday, my Dad would take me there where there were piles of manure that (that to my childlike eyes) seemed to reach up and touch the sky!
They were HUGE!
I would go and lay on my back on those huge manure piles and bake in that hot Texas sun (!) while my father shoveled the manure by hand into the back of his truck (to take home for our flower beds).
Now you might be reading this in horror BUT the way I remember this . . . I was in TOTAL BLISS . . . FLOW . . . feeling SAFE, SECURE, AT PEACE, and as if TIME STOOD STILL . . .
And, I associate ALL of THAT with the scent of FRESH MANURE!!!
I know, I know! It’s a bizarre association for sure!
My college professor finished this exercise by pointing out that Adlerian psychology says that our earliest childhood memories form our personality . . .and I believe it’s TRUE!
He then asked us how that memory influenced us as adults in his class.
(And, this is why I evenutally trained in Adlerian Therapy . . . .)
I have ALWAYS been able to . . . “make lemonade out of lemons” and known that “sometimes gifts come in ugly (and stinky) packages” – the title of a book I’m writing one day.
And, I’ve always been able to easily see and make connections between highly unlikely and seemingly disparate things.
THAT’s how my brain works and how my earliest childhood memory influences my work with you every single day.”
Other Therapists Decided to Share, Too
So after I posted this story on my Business Page on Facebook, I asked other therapists to share their own “first memories” and their thoughts about how those influence them today in their work and home lives.
And, their stories were so rich, I decided to bring the conversation back here!
Cindy Gullo-Pettibone was one of the first therapists to jump in to the discussion on Facebook to share her own memories and insights and she gave me permission to share it with you right here. This is what she said . . .
I don’t have a vivid “first memory” and can’t really think of an earliest.
I go by the over all “feelings” I had as a child.
When I reflect on it, there are a few things that come to mind.
I feel I had a great childhood.
I was extremely creative and imaginative in my play but my creativity wasn’t appreciated or noticed by anyone.
My parents were loving, but didn’t provide a lot of structure/boundaries/rules, despite yearning for them. I wanted to get in trouble and say I was grounded!
My parents didn’t push me to do my best and accepted mediocrity, which left me feeling inferior to my peers.
This has a played a monumental role in my work as I am very in tune to what needs my clients have that aren’t being met or acknowledged.
I am sure this is why I work with teens and parents.
I am big into teaching parents how to be in tune with their teens needs/wants/strengths/weaknesses.
As far as the creativity is concerned, it plays a role in a way I that still surprises me.
I can teach and counsel in creative ways, and a lot of times, it “just comes” to me.
I am a big believer in seeing the strength and growth that comes from my clients’ struggles.
And there ya have it!”
What’s Your Earliest Childhood Memory?
Whether you identify as an Adlerian therapist or not, this is a simple exercise that I think serves any self-reflective therapist to consider.
So . . . I’m holding space for you right here.
You are invited to share your earliest memories and whatever connections you choose to draw between those recollections and your personal / work life right now.
I look forward to seeing what you’ve done with your baggage and where you go from here!
Who knows . . . it just may be what’s keeping you stuck or giving you wings to move forward as you create your ideal private practice!
My earliest childhood memory is holding my grandpappy’s hand walking down to the barn to “feed & milk the cows” before dawn. The smell of dew on the grass, hay in the barn, & yes, Tamara, manure. LOL! This was done before he went to his full-time job as a dry cleaner franchise owner, so I think it taught me hard work and responsibility. He would let me help (even though I was really small) with milking and scooping the “sweet feed” to the cows. I would miss the target, but he’d be patient and tell me to “be careful and try again” or show me how to do it right. He taught me that I was loved because I included in his world of farm chores that he wanted to share with me. I learned to try again when I did not do something right the first time & was kindly encouraged to do so. I believe my early childhood helped shape me as an adult. You bet!