I Felt Like a Fraud
When I first started into private practice, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.
Oh, clinically I was OK.
I had already spent 10 years by then working in both community mental health and in the for-profit world, too.
But, what I hadn’t done was build a counseling practice from scratch . . . until I finally did.
In the beginning, when I was hungry and desperate, I did a lot of things wrong.
My office was in a shi shi part of the Dallas-Fort Worth area that was clearly above my socio-economic level.
I wasn’t going in debt for my office because I was subleasing from a very kind and generous therapist, Myrna, who was interested in mentoring me.
But, that’s the only way I would have been able to office there.
That in itself was a problem because from the very first day, I felt like an imposter.
I Had a Great Mentor
Myrna was great at imparting her business-savvy wisdom to me.
We had weekly office meetings where we discussed our marketing plans.
Since I didn’t know what I was doing, she often took me along with her on her marketing visits to local physicians.
She really did hustle and modeled for me the kinds of activities that she knew would work to bring clients in to the practice.
But, It Wasn’t Enough
Unfortunately, what worked for her didn’t necessarily work for me.
I copied her marketing practices to a T – cold calling, warm calling, and following up on hot leads, attending the local business women’s networking, etc.
Everything Myrna did, I copied.
And, the things that worked like a charm for her left me feeling even more clueless . . . and frustrated, unwanted as a professional and really, really hungry!
During that period, I also copied just about anyone else’s marketing that I could find, too.
I marketed to the schools (even though I had no interest or real desire to work with teens); I just wanted appointments on the schedule and warm bodies in the chairs!
And, I offered groups and workshops and classes and said I worked with grief and people pleasers and divorce and trauma and betrayal and spiritual abuse and emotional incest and depression and anxiety and whatever else I thought might walk right through the door.
I Missed My Mentor’s Most Important Lesson
It took me a couple of years to figure out that what worked for Myrna was because it was Myrna.
Myrna Loy Ashby, LPC was definitely not the status quo!
Yes, she was incredibly skilled and warmly compassionate.
Her clients loved her.
But, when it came to building a practice and keeping it successfully growing, being a better therapist than her colleagues was definitely not enough.
Myrna was more.
She was also willing to be real and to risk being different.
Status Quo as Enemy #1
If you are struggling to build your private practice and haven’t figured it out yet, status quo is your biggest enemy.
It’s the generalist in private practice whose ideal client is “everyone.”
Her online directory listings sound like everyone else’s listings.
Her office looks like every other therapist’s office.
She offers the same types of services that all her colleagues offer up and down the street.
It’s the therapist who treats the same old issues that every other therapist in town is offering to treat at the same old price.
And, by the way, it’s going to take the same amount of time to accomplish those same old goals using those same old strategies and the same old tools that every one of your colleagues is offering.
Name the Difference
Are you bored yet?
I am.
What we know about therapists who are growing strong practices is that those therapists do things different from the way their colleagues do.
And, don’t get confused . . . .
Better is not different.
If you’re wanting to stand out from colleagues and, in the process, develop a credible reputation for having a wildly successful practice full of loyal and motivated clients, then you have to set yourself apart.
One way to do that is by talking about the amazing results clients have stemming from the work they do with you!
I’m not talking about speaking in generalities.
I’m not talking about making stuff up.
I’m talking about sharing with the world the specific consequences that come from following your guidance and showing how working with you is different.
Know What the Stakes Are and Name Them
And, just as you are talking about the benefits of working with you, to stand out you also need to be talking about what potential clients have to lose by not working with you.
What is likely to happen if they don’t make any changes with you?
What did happen when individuals you know failed to engage in therapy with you?
Those stories, too, need to be told so that potential clients and potential referral sources understand that the stakes are high and the consequences can be severe — assuming, of course, that you believe this to be the case.
And, if it’s not the case then why should anyone come work with you anyway, right?
Tout the Benefits
Don’t forget to include the surprises that come from working with you, either.
That’s definitely bucking the status quo!
You know what I mean . . . .
You were working with that young woman to help her deal with a sexual assault.
She followed your unconventional guidance and read that off-topic book that you recommended.
Three weeks later, not only was she feeling better but she was also able to gain some clarity about her life’s purpose and direction as she headed off to school!
That wasn’t on your radar!
And, it definitely wasn’t on your treatment plan!
That was one of the unexpected perks that came from that young woman working with you!
Learn from My Mistakes
These are just 3 types of stories that every psychotherapist in private practice needs to get comfortable telling to grow his / her business – what makes you different, what the consequences of not working with you are, and what the unexpected perks are from working with you.
If your clinical practice is prospering because you are not the status quo, I hope you will drop in to share what makes you different so that others here can learn from you.
If you know another psychotherapist whose business if flourishing right now, please send a note to that therapist along with a link to this blog post so that s/he too can join in this discussion about how to be successful by being different.
Finally, if you are tired of struggling with any of this or all of this . . .
- figuring out who your ideal client is,
- how to find and craft the stories to set you and your practice apart,
- how to create an effective marketing plan that doesn’t just mirror everyone else’s,
- how to show up authentically to get seen and heard, . . .
and, most important of all, how to float up and identify those different and unexpected perks that come from working with you that, in turn, make you remarkable and memorable for changing the lives of clients who choose to work with you . . . I can help you.
Here are kind words about working with me. Just consider the possibility of getting unstuck, getting clearer about what you have to offer, and what that can mean for your business.
What a terrific article….
Thank-you
I love #1 the most. It’s hard because when we’re clueless we look around at what to do and have no idea that most everyone else isn’t doing things well either!
Now if only therapists could stop doing self masterbatory videos and starting saying “YOU” instead of talking at clients in the third person, and stop talking about themselves (clients don’t care) and talking to the REAL work and REAL hope the REAL client listener can expect from YOU, eye to camera, me to you, I will be a happier camper. Stop the piles of rocks, oceans, wilderness scenes, and start being YOU talking DIRECTLY to that client who is desperately trying to figure out how and why blah blah blah blah blah blah blah versus hiring YOU matters. There is nothing more intimate than video and yet we’re destroying our field by being sappy infomercials about ourselves and not talking to our potential clients.
Everything you say is dead on. Now we need to be BRAVE and follow your advice! (And if you’re a sappy ball of goo, great, look me in the eye in the video, goosh on me, and stop talking about me, the potential client, in the third person.)
-Elizabeth the opinionated 😉
ps: yes I’m a hypocrite because I need to do a video myself. And I will. Just have the extra challenge of doing it with my husband because we share a practice and we need to avoid the goo associated with married people being sappy… I will share when we do it. 🙂
Elizabeth, the Opinionated! Hahahaha! Oh, my! Welcome!
Well, in all fairness, I don’t remember anything being scarier as a new therapist than having people expect me to show up with my doubts and gaffs and my unanswered questions in front of other professionals.
That was TERRIFYING! for the people-pleaser I was (and still am)!
But you are making a good point. If there is anything that costs you a client more than not having a video . . . it’s having a video that’s all about you rather than your potential client.
Be BRAVE.
Be REAL.
And, SHOW UP for your clients.
Elizabeth, I haven’t done the video thing yet either but, like you, it’s on the agenda for this year . . . maybe 🙂
Thanks for dropping in!
Thank you for some much needed clarity! I’ve got a very clearly identified ideal client is (someone with a developmental disability and concurrent mental health need), and I’m committed to serving them uniquely (by doing home and community based therapy). In spite of this, and of hearing constantly that what I do is much needed, I have very few clients.
Your post helped me realize that I’m probably not doing a good enough job of telling potential clients how I have helped other people like them, and of what they risk by choosing not to work me. Your experience of mimicking marketing without owning the strategies you were using also resonates with me. My practice is pretty unique (at least, I think so!), and I need to do a better job of showcasing what sets me apart in equally novel ways.
Thank you for giving me hope and reminding me that I have the right tools, now I just need to write myself a better manual!
Hi, Rose! It’s great to have your voice here today! Thank you.
I love your clarity of focus.
For most of us that doesn’t just show up one day.
We have to think about it . . . talk about it . . . write about it for a while (like fanning kindling before it takes flame).
And, I love that you know exactly what makes your offer unique!
Let me know if you need help fleshing out those success and benefits stories!
You are well on your way, Rose, to figuring this all out!
I’m happy to support you on your journey!
(And, thank you, for taking the time to let us know one of the ways you are different than all the other therapists in your community! That’s so helpful!)
Great post Tamara! I would love to hear from others what makes them different! Maybe that will help me define that for myself. I definitely have a strong Polish accent that is different:)
Thanks, Marta, for reading and dropping in to chat!
(And, who doesn’t love a great Polish accent – right?!)
These are helpful thoughts for me, for from your article, I see that I am a :”generalist”. One question, though: do you suggest using testimonials on a website? I’m uncertain. I don’t present testimonials, and I have shied away from doing so for I think the ethics of receiving such a benefit from a client are questionable. What’s your opinion?
Hi, Michael! Thanks for dropping in to chat tonight!
It’s funny you are asking about testimonials. I’m working on a presentation and proposal right now on that very topic. There’s actually a LOT to say about this subject but the short answer is testimonials from colleagues actually carry more weight than clients and those are perfectly acceptable. 🙂
I hope you’ll drop in often, Michael, to chat with us here!
Wow, did a bird come and whisper in your ear that I NEEDED this post?! This is literally just what I needed! Thank you. I just “launched” my PP 2 weeks ago, but with some feedback from some people, I was appropriately told that I needed to speak more to my ideal client and have a niche. I have really been struggling with how to do that exactly, but your ideas of explaining the benefits of working with me and what can be lost if they don’t clicked! I am going to work on writing something up this weekend. Thank you for this post 🙂
Hi, Emily! Welcome to Private Practice from the Inside Out! You’ve made my week by saying that! I didn’t see that little bird but I did talk to 6 differet therapists this week that needed to fine tune their language around their offerings and get clearer about their niches, too! Give yourself a deadline to get clearer on that niche. If you can’t do by your deadline, give me a chance to help you over this hurdle! I love this piece of the work we must do to connect easily with our ideal clients and would love to help you make that connection!
Best wishes on your private practice and I hope to find you back here talking with us again soon!
Thanks Tamara! Hit it on the head! I think one of the myths that we tell ourselves when we niche is that if I market my niche then you won’t be able to see anyone else, and that’s just not true! I think you still can work with multiple types of clients and have multiple interests because you are a good therapist and good at what you do. I mean sometimes grownups need a play therapist too!!
Hi, Jill! I’ve missed your voice here and I love the point you are making!
It’s true!
All the marketing research says that once we get known for doing just one thing really well, the general public tends to generalize that “if you are an expert and one thing, then you must be really good at other things, too!”
I know I think that way.
When I need someone to come repair a fence at my house, I’m always asking “Since you work with wood, can you also fix some trim work on my house, build a doghouse for me, and also build cabinets in my laundry room?”
And, as for those of you that are play therapists – if you want to work with adults, too, you actually need to let people know that play therapists work with adults, too!
Thanks for dropping in, Jill!
This is a great post and it is something I am struggling with myself. I am new to private practice in Brooklyn, NY (opened my doors in March) and I feel that I am not growing fast enough. I have a website, a FB page, and a blog but I have had only 3 people find me through my website. I am on Psychology Today, get lots of page views and inquiries but when I say I do not take insurance, things fall flat. I know I should be patient as it has only been 2 months but I want to get out of the clinic ASAP; it is completely draining me! Any tips, hints, suggestions besides be patient?
Hi, Minette! Welcome to Private Practice from the Inside Out!
Congrats to you on your private practice and good for you for getting people to actually pick up the phone and call you!
That’s a big hurdle for a lot of therapists.
Since you seem to be losing potential clients while on the phone, I’m betting your spiel on the phone needs tweaking.
This is so important because this is the first time you have the opportunity to put “glue” between you and your potential client.
I have a very specific map that I use when having this initial conversation.
The short version is to have the client talk about their pain first, their “destination” second, and then I help them connect the dots by talking about how I see that happening.
And, I always defer talk about money and insurance until after those first 3 areas are covered.
Minette, if you follow this pattern for your calls, I am confidant you will improve your numbers and get those appointments booked.
(I have more than 9 out of 10 first time callers book appointments with me on that first call.)
If, for whatever reason, you don’t find your bookings to improve, feel free to book a consultation with me.
I would be happy to help you polish your initial contact with callers (and emailers, too) to get your practice busy and you doing the work you were meant to do!
Thank you so much for your valuable website… lots of good information! Some of my local colleagues in Private Practice are saying they do a written treatment plan for every person they see, is this necessary? I certainly go over the clients goals they set for themselves and record them in my notes along with progress but I don’t do an individually written treatment plan, am I doing it wrong???
Amy, there are lots of reasons that the standard of practice for all mental health professionals here in the United States is to have a written treatment plan as part of every client’s record.
Some therapists create a separate document for their treatment plans, some keep a less structured treatment plan within the content of their progress notes, but yes, you need an individual treatment plan for each client you work with and it needs to be included in their chart.
Having a plan that lives only in your head is not sufficient for your own risk management or the continuity of care for each of your clients.
Your national a state professional associations, any credentialing bodies that you are affiliated with, the state(s) you practice in, and your own licensing board may have specific ethical practices/rules/regulations concerning frequency, content, and placement of treatment plans for your specific practice.
I would encourage you to start by reviewing your licensing board’s rules and regulations and the codes of ethics that are stipulated by these other bodies.
Best wishes on your journey!