Pamela Baker, in Pennsylvania wrote in asking,
“What is the best way to keep in touch with clients?”
While it is a common business practice to keep in touch with clients during and after conducting business with them, it is not always considered legal, ethical, or within the common standards of practice for mental health professionals to do so. Before you even consider the potential benefits to you and your clients, you must first consider the potential damage that your client may incur from your attempt(s) to maintain contact.
Here’s some examples of potential harm:
- Are you fostering your client’s emotional dependence on you?
- Are you unknowingly undermining her independence?
- If you call your client’s home and her jealous and historically violent partner answers the phone, how do you explain who you are and why you are calling?
- Does it get any better if you leave a voice mail and the same partner picks up the message?
- What changes if you sent a follow up note following her missed appointment if her partner opens her mail . . . or just notices your return address?
- What if you send a birthday greeting while your client is off on a trip and her neighbor is picking up the mail and notices your return address?
Our relationships with our clients are complicated and our job, above all else, is to not complicate our client’s lives any more than they already are. Do no harm.
And, I would add “Do no harm to yourself, either.” With the recent changes in ethical codes of conduct for mental health professionals, I’ve seen far too many therapists want to slip into dual relationships with their clients or their ex-clients that seem, at least to the therapists, to be “no big deal.”
However, that has not been my experience. In fact, every friend and family member that I’ve ever had who has ever seen a therapist and then ended up in a personal relationship with their therapist after termination has indicated the same thing. The power dynamics in the relationship are always lopsided and the ex-client is always the one lacking the power.
I tell you this because as therapists we often think we are the exceptions to the rules; and, because we care about our clients we often think that we have our clients’ best interests at heart. Every week I speak with colleagues and supervisees who say something to the effect of “I would never make a decision that would negatively impact my client” and yet we do . . . far too often.
Does that mean that you should never keep in touch with your clients? No. What it does mean is that you need to do so after careful consideration, consultation, and only after obtaining fully informed consent from your client. In my next post, I’ll suggest some ways that you may want to stay in touch.
Good comments! One question … how about emails sent by former clients letting you know how they’re doing? I recently received an email from a former client who moved cross-country with information about the move, new home, etc.
Is it appropriate to respond?
Welcome back, Fred! I haven’t heard from you in a while!
It’s funny you should ask about this just now. This has been a recent discussion on one of the online discussion lists that I frequent and the conversation has been rich! There’s two different things to consider here . . . so let me take some time to respond to these. Check back in 2-3 weeks. I’ll try to get them posted by then!
Thanks for dropping in, Fred, to chat! You always ask good questions!
I can hardly wait to hear when it is ok. Can I send a newsletter out such as my bi-monthy “Emotional Wellness.” What about upcoming workshops. For example, this holiday season I will be co-facilitating two workshops on “Coping Skills for the Holidays.”
Brenda
Brenda, welcome back!
Newsletters are a terrific way to keep your name out there in front of your clients. If you decide to go this route, make sure you pay attention to branding. Identity development is important. And, newsletters are an easy way to keep clients (and the community) up to date on opportunities to hear you speak at workshops and classes.
Thanks for dropping in here to chat! Hope you’ll be back soon!
Excellent, excellent post and points, Tamara! The question most therapists need to ask themselves first is “whose need am I meeting here?” Thank you for bringing up this very important topic.
Thanks, Roia!
I’ve decided that I’ve reached my therapy goals and my next session with the therapist I’ve been seeing for a while now will be the last. She agreed with this. She has helped me a lot and I have made huge strides with her guidance. The last few sessions I haven’t felt were overly therapeutic and that possibly some boundaries were blurring. I just feel it is time for me to take an extended therapy break.
Anyway, the counsellor asked to keep in touch with me but I didn’t respond to this at all. I’m wondering if she will ask again during the last session and how I can say no. I know it is not appropriate as a counsellor-in-training myself. Would really appreciate a reply!
Hi, Hazel_eyes. Thanks for joining the conversation today.
I’m sorry that you feel like your therapist is blurring some boundaries and I’m glad it’s time to take a break from therapy.
You have at least a couple of options.
I would encourage you to discuss your discomfort with your therapist before terminating therapy.
And, if you are not satisfied with the results of that conversation, you can certainly contact her licensing board to file a formal complaint.
You didn’t mention why your therapist wanted to keep in touch and that’s important, too.
If she wanted to keep in touch with you for personal reasons, that would not be appropriate.
However, if she is concerned about your welfare and wants to stay in touch to let you know about future ways the she might support you professionally . . . Or if you wish to know about future offerings of hers, then she would be correct in asking you for permission to send notices of those things.
In any case, I’m happy for all your successes in therapy and so sorry that the last few sessions have been less than satisfactory.
Best wishes to you on your journey!
I loved this simple but content-rich article. Thanks for posting it. I found it while searching for proper etiquette for contacting clients who have not completed their intake portal. Do I call, do I text, do I email….etc. I didn’t find that answer but still appreciated the info and will share it with others. I did want to point out one typo – in the example of potential harm, voicemail is spelled “voice male”…which I thought was fun, since you were talking about a jealous partner getting the message. I am not trying to be critical…just thought you would want to know, in case you’re a perfectionist like me! Thanks again for dong what you do!
Hi Laura! This is such a great and timely question!
Thank you for asking it.
(And . . . for noting that typo, too! LOL. I’ll be heading to correct that right after this.)
When a potential client fails to complete their intake portal, you might want to set up a pop-up window that says “Hey! You forgot to complete your intake form and hit send (or enter or whatever).”
Beyond that, I would do nothing and here’s why . . . .
It’s not a matter of “etiquette” but rather matters of client safety and your own liability.
A potential client may have left your portal abruptly when an abuser entered the room.
He may have left your portal after changing his mind about engaging your services.
He may have left your portal when his privacy was interrupted.
He may have simply gotten distracted or left your portal for any number of other less delicate reasons.
You have no idea.
So to call, text, email, or reach out in any way might put your potential client at risk.
For any of those reasons, it becomes the client’s responsibility at this time in your relationship to reach out and make contact.
(That changes, by the way, after you have gone through the informed consent process and have a mutual understanding of your policies and practices and the risks and challenges as well as resources that your individual clients possess.)
Thanks, Laura, for dropping in today! I hope you’ll drop back in often to chat!