If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.”

~ Excerpt from the poem Children Learn What They Live by the late Dorothy Law Nolte

Check out this interesting post on the blog, National Post, that talks about a study that shows how being green can boost your self esteem.

After you read it, I hope you will check back in here and let me know how you are greening your self esteem.

I was surfing on the web this morning when I ran across the words to Lindsay Lohan’s song, I Decide.  They say exactly how you’ll be feeling when you start to take control of your self confidence and your life.

Take a moment to read through the lyrics below.  If they aren’t sounding like they are your words, then it’s time to start gathering and emptying out the garbage!

I Decide by Lindsay Lohan

Don’t think that you can tell me what to think
I’m the one who knows what’s good for me
And I’m stating my independence
Gonna take the road I’m gonna take
And I’m gonna make my own mistakes
It’s my life
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
What I need
Who I know
I’m the one who’s runnin’ my life
I decide
I decide

Don’t think you’re ever gonna hold me down
Couldn’t do it then can’t do it now
I’m kickin’ down all the fences
I’m gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up
It’s my ride
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I’m the one who’s runnin’ my life
I decide
I decide

I’m taking my own chances
And I’m finding my own answers
I’m only answering to me
And that’s the way it’s gonna be
I decide
Oh yeah
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I’m the one who’s runnin’ my life
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide

Check back in on Monday and I’ll show you how to start replacing your negative self talk with more useful stories about who you really are and who you can be.

Do you have mean-spirited, nasty self-talk going on in your head?  You know the stuff I’m talking about . . . .

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m a big idiot . . . pitiful loser . . . total joke.”

“I’m unlovable, unteachable, etc.”

“I don’t deserve to have money or joy or love.”

“I’m too fat . . . too slow . . . too lazy.”

Am I inside your head yet?  If so, then there’s a lot of garbage that doesn’t belong in there.  If you’ll take some time this week to gather up the garbage by making a list of all the ugly and not-so-useful things that you say to yourself, I’ll show you how to use it to start to feel better about yourself and boost your self esteem.

Check back in and I “ll showed you how to create a very special type of self talk to start to replace the garbage in your head!

Two decades ago, I started keeping a file of Nice Notes, Affirmations, and Love Letters. If you struggle with low self esteem, this can be a fun way to start recognizing and boosting your own self worth.

Not familiar with this type of file?  I wasn’t either until someone introduced the idea to me.  Over time, my Nice Notes File has morphed into different containers . . . a Word document on my computer . . . a manila file folder in my file cabinet . . . a cloth-covered box . . . a metal lock box . . . clear vinyl sheets in a three ring notebook . . . and, now, back to a prettier expanding file folder.

The container might be important. (I have found that if it’s pretty and really attractive,  I do refer to it more often.)  However, it’s what’s inside that is most important.  Here’s are some suggestions about what to put in yours . . . .

• Nice notes from past clients, friends and colleagues – anything positive that clients have written to you about you,
• Affirmations that help you to focus on your positive traits and characteristics,
• A list of your strengths, gifts, and natural abilities,
• Thank you notes that you have received,
• Kind and supportive words that  have been said to or about you,
• Evaluations from employers and students (the good stuff only!),
• Accomplishments – both personal and professional,
• Ways you have made a positive difference in other people’s lives,
• Holiday and greeting cards,
• Teacher’s comments, report cards and evaluations (remember, just the good stuff!),
• Audio / visual / print media and press releases pertaining to you,
• Complimentary things that were said to you (Write them down on receipts at restaurants, napkins in the car, and little scraps of paper- anything just to remember them!),
• Resume / vita, and
• Love letters from current / past partners.

Now that you’ve got an idea about what to put in your Nice Notes, Affirmations, and Love Letters File, here’s how you use it . . . .

Schedule a time on your calender to regularly pull out your Nice Notes File and review it.  This is a time to reflect on all that is special about you.  Take in all the positive things that are true about you.