Posts Tagged ‘Boundary Violations’

Is Physical Abuse Part Of Your Story?

Monday, June 14th, 2010

Physical abuse occurs any time a deliberate action results in the violation of your physical integrity.  By definition, physical abuse injures or endangers you.

Take a look at the list of physical boundary violations below to begin to identify your own relationship with physical abuse.

  • hitting,
  • slapping,
  • excess spanking,
  • kicking,
  • biting,
  • pushing,
  • shoving,
  • pinching,
  • choking,
  • shaking,
  • twisting,
  • use of objects in hitting:  branches, paddles, boards, belts, saplings, whips, straps, etc.
  • knocks on the head,Image of Abused Looking Woman
  • excess squeezing,
  • being physically restrained, tied up and tortured,
  • burns with cigarettes, matches, stove and fires,
  • threatened with violence and hitting,
  • tossed around,
  • lack of space,
  • lack of privacy,
  • no rights to property,
  • constant mussing,
  • hair tossing and pulling,
  • excess tickling,
  • deprivation of food, shelter, clothing and warmth,
  • being physically tested beyond your abilities,
  • being pushed too hard physically with work,
  • not being protected from:
    • sibling abuse (older, younger, or same age),
    • being beaten in school by bullies or teachers,
    • excessive housework,
  • lack of personal hygiene modeled and taught,
  • lack of nutritional support and information,
  • touch deprivation,
  • under or over feeding,
  • excessive scrubbing and abrasion of hands and ears
  • being exposed to unsanitary living conditions, rats, roaches, dirt, insects, plumbing that doesn’t work, odors, etc.,
  • lack of dental and medical care,
  • clothing that is improperly fitted, inappropriate, dirty, or worn out,
  • lack of information about body,
  • being teased about body,
  • not having one’s physical appearance or body affirmed,
  • excess emphasis on external appearance, clothing, hygiene, hand washing, nutrition or diet, body functions, body growth or development,
  • being shamed or teased about body functions or formation,
  • physical punishment by relatives, ministers, strangers,
  • being kidnapped,
  • constant moving or re-locations,
  • being in close proximity to nicotine smoke,
  • being locked in house, rooms, or closets,
  • not being protected from someone else’s rage, anger, temper, hitting walls, thrashing, or destruction of property,
  • not being protected from one’s own rage,
  • not being taken care of when sick or ill nor supported when sick,
  • not having regular medical and dental checkups,
  • people or things that we become attached to being destroyed or removed from our lives,
  • not being allowed
    • to have pets, friends, and things to be attached to,
    • stay in one place,
    • have a sense of community,
    • opportunities in sports, academics, and art,
  • overexposed to the elements,
  • pushed into violent sports,
  • no sense of ownership or learning about property, money, spending and the cost of things,
  • physical abuse of parents,
  • witnessing violence,
  • living through earthquakes, tornadoes, storms, wars, excess crime, and
  • not being allowed to have feelings, to talk about physical pain or abuse, or not being protected.

If your life is or has been affected by physical abuse and you would like help exploring your options, let’s talk.  You can reach me at 303-660-4989.

[This information was taken from Broken Toys Broken Dreams:  Understanding & Healing Boundaries, Codependence, Compulsion, & Family Relationships by Terry Kellogg]