Last week, Dr. Gary Newman was on Good Day NY promoting his new book, The Truth About Cheating. During his interview, he listed these 4 signs of a cheating spouse:

• More time away,
• Less sex,
• Avoids contact and cell phone calls, and
• Starts fights and increases criticism.

He also listed 4 ways to prevent cheating include:

• Work on increasing the emotional connection,
• Spend time together on a daily basis,
• Schedule date nights, and
• Monitor friends.

What I know about cheating is that the real problem in the relationship started long before the cheating.  Cheating is just the symptom.

When a couple is in a good place i.e. when both individuals are feeling respected, engaged, and wanted, cheating can’t happen.  If you aren’t in a good place with each other, then cracks (in a relationship) happen and . . . if cracks happen, then cheating is a very real risk . . .  regardless of how much you both may love each other.

If you are in a violent relationship, maybe I can help.
Ask me how. Call me. 303-660-4989

Elaine Aaron has published an article online in the Huffington Post on How to Find a Good Therapist. In it she offers tips and cautionary notes that you should consider before engaging the services of a mental health professional including:

• Make sure your therapist is licensed;
• Ask about their formal training;
• Check out more than one professional before deciding who to work with;
• Discuss fees and any concerns that you have about money up front;
• Don’t work with a therapist who is also working with your best friend or a member of your family.

If you have already started working with a mental health professional, what suggestions can you add to this list to help others find a good “fit” with their therapist?

And, if you are looking for a mental health professional in the states of Texas or Colorado, I would be happy to talk with you to see if I am the therapist that you are looking for to help you start to make some changes in your life!

Check out this great little post by Tom Jacobs entitled Classical Music an Effective Antidepressant.  It it he discusses research that indicates listening to some of Bach and Mozart’s music can actually have a positive effect on depression.

Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, a precious relationship, a fantasy, a home, or a job, I hope you’ll take some time to check out some of these resources to support you on your journey.

A Time to Grieve
Carol Staudacher

Afterwords
Ellen Steinbaum

Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
Elizabeth Lesser

Gentle Closings: How to Say Goodbye to Someone You Love
Ted Menten

The Grieving Tree: A Year’s Account of Recovery from Loss
Anne M. Brooks

Living When a Loved One Has Died
Rabbi Earl A. Grollman

The Second Half of Marriage: Facing the Eight Challenges of the Empty Nest Years
David and Claudia Arp

Solace
Roberta Temes

Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life
Debbie Ford

When Someone You Love is Dying
Norma Supson

Working It Through: An Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Workshop on Life, Death and Transition
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.

Grief: Coping with Reminders After a Loss

If you are aware of other books / websites / blogs that can offer support for those grieving, I hope you will introduce yourself and leave them below.