Have you tried to work with affirmations in the past?

Have your affirmations been boring and forgettable?

Have your affirmations been too long and clunky to remember?

If your affirmation is sticky, it will be easy to remember. And, that’s important because you will need to work with it on a daily basis.  Here are some tips to help you create a sticky affirmation.

• On Monday, I asked you to take the time to do a brain dump of all the garbage in your head i.e. the negative self talk that you engage in. If you haven’t already done that, then do it now.  Make a list of all the garbage in your head that holds you back from being the woman / man you want to be.
• Pick just one harmful sentence i.e. just one piece of garbage at a time to work on.  By focusing your work on just one affirmation, you will heighten your awareness of this issue and reinforce your intention to change your self talk to something more desirable.  Once you decide which sliver of negative self talk that you want to change first, you are ready to create your sticky affirmation!
• Affirmations need to be personal. By using “I statements” to begin your affirmation, you are guaranteed to focus on you.  Instead of saying “Everything is going to be OK,” say “I have peace and calm surrounding me right now.”
• Action words are what keep an affirmation interesting. And, keeping them interesting and lively is one of the things that keeps them sticky and memorable!  Instead of saying “I look for choices,” say “I see and embrace the possibilities.”
• State your affirmation as if it is true right now. By stating your affirmation in the present tense, you are focusing your intention and increasing the power behind your words.  Never use past or future focused statements. Avoid using words like “can,” “will,” “should,” and “could.”   Instead of saying, “I will have financial security in my life,” say “I have all that I need right now.”
• Keep it positive. Instead of saying “I don’t deserve  to be talked to in a rude manner,” say “I deserve respect and love in my life.”
• An affirmation should be just one short sentence. It will be easier to remember, easier to write, and easier to recite.

A sticky affirmation is easy to remember, easy to hang on to, and most important of all, a sticky affirmation can change your life!

If you are currently working with an affirmation that you have created, why not leave a comment below to let us know what it is and how this post fits with your experience.

On Monday, I’ll be showing you how to use your newly crafted (or revised) sticky affirmation.

I was surfing on the web this morning when I ran across the words to Lindsay Lohan‘s song, I Decide.  They say exactly how you’ll be feeling when you start to take control of your self confidence and your life.

Take a moment to read through the lyrics below.  If they aren’t sounding like they are your words, then it’s time to start gathering and emptying out the garbage!

I Decide by Lindsay Lohan

Don’t think that you can tell me what to think
I’m the one who knows what’s good for me
And I’m stating my independence
Gonna take the road I’m gonna take
And I’m gonna make my own mistakes
It’s my life
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
What I need
Who I know
I’m the one who’s runnin’ my life
I decide
I decide

Don’t think you’re ever gonna hold me down
Couldn’t do it then can’t do it now
I’m kickin’ down all the fences
I’m gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up
It’s my ride
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I’m the one who’s runnin’ my life
I decide
I decide

I’m taking my own chances
And I’m finding my own answers
I’m only answering to me
And that’s the way it’s gonna be
I decide
Oh yeah
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I’m the one who’s runnin’ my life
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide

Check back in on Monday and I’ll show you how to start replacing your negative self talk with more useful stories about who you really are and who you can be.

Here are some of my favorite resources to help you strengthen your boundaries.

Broken Toys Broken Dreams: Understanding & Healing Boundaries, Codependence, Compulsion & Relationships
Terry Kellogg

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Melody Beattie

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life
Patricia Love

Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives
Pia Mellody

Healing the Shame that Binds You
John Bradshaw

Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners – Understanding Covert Incest
Ken Adams, Ph.D.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond
Patricia Evans

The Serenity Channel

The Stalking Resource Center

Verbal Abuse

If you are aware of other books, websites, or dvd’s that have helped you or your clients to strengthen their boundaries, I hope you’ll add them below.