Calm Yourself Down – 8 Self-Soothing Techniques

Do you ever find yourself all wound up?  Too excited, too emotional, or feeling overwhelmed?

Here are 8 ways to calm yourself down and regain stable ground.

  1. Listen. Listen to beautiful, calming, relaxing music.  Listen to the rhythm of the ocean’s waves.  Listen to your own breathing.    Listen to a babbling brook.  Listen to the ticking of a clock.  Let the sounds pass into your awareness . . . and let them pass out of your awareness . . . coming in . . . and flowing out.
  2. Breathe in and soften your belly. Breathe out and let your tension go.  Follow your breath in . . . noticing as it goes in your nose . . . filling up your lungs . . . filling up you whole being . . . softening your belly . . . letting the hardness, the holding go.
  3. Ask yourself, “How old do I feel?” Pinpoint the age that you first felt this feeling. Then remind yourself that you are not a child . . . . You are 37 years old and that you can handle this situation.
  4. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Remind yourself that you are not inherently bad . . . you are not a bad person . . . and that you get to make mistakes.
  5. Take a walk. Take a long walk in a beautiful place . . . in your garden . . . in a park . . . along a river.  Focus on the beauty that you are seeing.  Notice the colors . . . the shapes . . . the textures of all that you are passing.
  6. Develop a practice of meditation. This is not a “quick fix.” In order for meditation to be self-soothing, you need to develop the practice before you need it as a tool for steadying yourself.  (If you are interested in learning how to meditate here in Colorado, I recommend that you contact my colleague, Leslie Vogt, for small-group or 1:1 training.)
  7. Use positive and nurturing self-talk. Remind yourself that you are a good person . . . a kind person . . . and that you deserve to have peace and good things in your life.
  8. Write in your journal. Put your thoughts and feelings in writing.  Use your journal as a private place to “dump” your experiences and explore the meaning of your life.

What is it that you are using to calm yourself down?  Do you have other tips to share?

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]
Be Sociable, Share!

Tags: ,

2 Responses to Calm Yourself Down – 8 Self-Soothing Techniques

  1. Beverly says:

    I read”Nicks” letter and your advice back to him and his friend. I have a similar problem with my family and I.
    My part in this is I have a problem being able to remember details about some things or not being able to remember anything.The last thing I remember is one of my brothers called me and talking about a “sore subject” which is an ex-brother in-law of mine. (My brother knows my daughters and I have a problem with him. My daughter and I talked about how we would handle the situation if my brother brought his name up again.We decided to tell my brother (as nice as possible)that we would appreciate if he would not bring up anything that had to do with my ex-brother in-law.I did that and it was like dropping a lighted match into a box of dynamite. He just started yelling at me about me sticking my nose in where it didn’t belong. He mentioned some things he said I had talked to someone about .One of the things he mentioned was something to do with his wife taking our mother to the hospital and I didn’t want her to. I know this sounds confusing,it sounded that way to me.I almost hung the phone up but I stopped and waited until I couldn’t hear his voice any more and then hung up the phone.
    How do you make peace with someone who has such a quick and bad temper?
    I believe we need to talk about it but I don’t want him to start yelling at me again and I know he will.
    He is never going to believe me if I tell him I honestly don’t remember the things I was suppose to have said.
    It had nothing to do with my ex-brother in-law.

  2. Well, Beverly, this is embarrassing! I am just now seeing your comment here. So sorry for the delay in responding.

    This is a little confusing and I don’t want to be offering therapy here. However, I do want to support you and your family in moving through this situation as peacefully as possible.

    One of the resources I use is Nonviolent Communication. There is a book by the same name written by Marshall Rosenberg.

    By staying focused on who it is I want to be / present in the midst of a difficult conversation, I am often able to circumvent some of the less-useful directions of blame and shame.

    I hope this helps!

Leave a Reply

Name and Email Address are required fields. Your email will not be published or shared with third parties.